so, there is this woman I work with - we will call her SadMouth. Why? Because she always looks so sad - and when she doesn't look sad, she looks high. She isn't high, she just looks high. She also has the most annoying voice in the world; like she is on the Tilt-a-Whirl because her voice goes in and out of volume. Great.
Well now, SadMouth had a baby a few months ago. I have to say, I kinda liked her before "the baby" came into the picture. She wasn't really annoying until the thing popped out of her and she left for 2 months and thn she came back and we haven't heard anything OTHER then the baby in 8 months.
Things the baby has done:
1. Baught SadMouth a present from Bloomingdales. (Yes, he did it himself aparently.)
2. Said, "MAAA" which to SadMouth meant that "the baby" was voting for Barak Obama, even though she and her husband are Republicans. (No, she was not just saying this to be funny.)
3. Forgot to get a good picture of himself in his Thanksgiving outfit so he had to have a Photoshoot just to make sure he got a good shot of the outfit.
These are just a few things off the top of my head that he has done.
So, everyday, SadMouth comes in and goes right for Drunkle, another co-worker that I will talk about at a later time, to talk about "the baby" because he, himself, has a 1-year-old son. This is what I have to walk into each morning:
SadMouth: "Drunkle, how is Baby Drunkle? Is he sleeping through the night yet? "The baby" is sleeping through the night sometimes. I don't know what the problem is. And he sleeps all day! I just don't understand why he won't sleep at night."
Drunkle: "Well my son is a year-old. We haven't really had to think about him sleeping through the night in like eight months. What kind of schedule do you have him on?"
SadMouth: "Well we don't really have him on a schedule. We just put him to bed when he looks tired. Sometimes we are up until 2am."
Drunkle: "Well what do you do before bed time? He has to know when bed time is. He needs a schedule."
SadMouth: "Well, when he looks tired we bring him upstairs and play games until he looks like he is ready to pass out. He really likes to play peek-a-boo."
Stacey's thoughts: "WTF! Why is this kid playing peek-a-boo at 2am?!?!? Um, I know I've never had a kid before but COME ON NOW! You do not keep a baby awake all night to play with him."
It is painful the things she doesn't know about raising a baby. It is also painful how superficial she is. "The baby" was born with a small, red birthmark under his eye. It isn't bulbous. It isn't ugly. It is just there. HOWEVER, she feels the need to talk to her pediatrician about how it can BE REMOVED! OFF A 8 MONTH OLD BABY!
The saga of SadMouth is no where near over. Please look for future updats of SadMouth.
